Compliment Box

Renewal efforts are in full force at Calvary!  We're having a lot of fun, and there are a lot of kids around.  

One thing I discovered in a conversation with my clergy coach (who is amazing, everyone in in the renewal process needs a coach, in my opinion) is that our congregation accidentally has developed a pattern of negative speech and complaining.  

This is normal, especially in a congregation that has lived with chronic anxiety about their survival for so many years.  While normal, it is also essential to change.  

You can listen to the sermon where I first propose this idea here. We have begun our new project.  

"Don't use foul* or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Eph 4:29 (NLT)

EPHESIANS 4:29 Project:
​Compliment Box

What happens?

Each Sunday, as the Kids leave Kid's time, they walk around the congregation and hand out the pieces of notepaper. (We use Office Depot Twirl Memo Cube.) Everyone is invited to write one good thing about our congregation, or to write a compliment for someone else at church.  The kids often pick up these notes during the offering and bring them to box kept in the front.  Sometimes people put them in the box after worship.  Notes may be signed or unsigned.  Notes are published in our newsletter every month as they are written, unless the word "private" is written on it.  

How's it Going?

Really well.  We get lots of compliments each Sunday, many of them including how much people enjoy having the kids around and how welcomed they feel.  The effect of this has been helpful so far.  First, when people complain about the kids, there's a written record that I'm not forcing the entire congregation to accept noise and chaos.  It shows that some people love it.  Second, instead of us complaining about how there's not enough people to do everything, we can see the names of the people who are doing things.  Third, it gives us a solid base of liking one another and liking the congregation to work from when there is conflict or when problems need to be solved.  We are also working really hard on direct conflict resolution and using "I statements"  Fourth, our "Suggestion and Comment" box has been reborn, so now there's nowhere for anonymous complaints to land.  This has brought

Joy! Joy! Joy! Down in our Hearts!

Conversation

Is your congregation doing this?  How's it going?

*A note on foul language: this is language that hurts people or is abusive.  Cuss words have good and right purposes.  For example, calling someone else names, like stupid, is foul language. Crying out to God in deep pain "Fuck This Shit" is naming a guttural response to life.  Saying "fuck you" is foul, but saying "this fucking sucks" is not.  See the difference?  [P.S.  Not everyone at this congregation agrees with me on this, or maybe only use this language in my office.]